Our house is a CONSTANT disaster cause I simply cannot keep up with it. And it irritates me to live in such a mess all the time and causes me to be even more moody and grumpy. Poor Lance has had to put up with my 180 mood swings for too long.
I'm not sure why, but I've felt really depressed this pregnancy. I know there are a lot of factors contributing to it, and most are out of my control, but it's still really frustrating. I will be happy and normal one moment, then suddenly I'm super sad and want nothing more than to go curl up in a ball and cry. And I have a really hard time shaking those "down" times. It was really bad a few weeks ago, but I feel like I've been doing a lot better recently.
Lately I have had near constant stomach aches as well. Sometimes I wish I could throw up because it seems it would make me feel better. The best way for me to deal with it has been to keep busy. So I have been working on some crafts. Lots and lots of crafts. Mostly baby items. Lance probably thinks I've gone nuts, but it really helps me pass the time and forget about how uncomfortable I am.
We had a doctor appointment this past week and the baby is measuring exactly on. I remember I grew the most in the last few weeks with Will, so I'm really curious to see if that happens again with this one. I feel like I am already much bigger than I was with Will, so I really hope I don't explode even more. I have already gained A LOT more weight than I did my entire first pregnancy.
I am so ready to be done being pregnant, yet I don't feel ready for a newborn yet. It scares the crap out of me to think that I'm going to have another baby pretty soon. I honestly worry about how I am going to handle it.
My doctor says I am doing well enough that he doesn't need to see me every 2 weeks. So my next appt isn't until almost 37 weeks, when he'll start doing weekly checks. I'm not sure why, but I've had this strange feeling that I may have to have a C-section this time. The only movements I ever feel are below my belly button. My doctor couldn't tell if she was head down my last appt but said there is still plenty of time for her to turn. And if she is still not at 38 weeks, they have a few techniques to try to get her to turn, though they only have a 50% chance of succeeding. While a C-section isn't ideal, I really don't care. And part of me thinks it would be nice just to know the date and not have to play the waiting game.
Overall, I'd say things are going fairly well and getting better (surprisingly). Things were pretty rough for a while, but I think I am past that now. I'm excited for my next doctor appointment and curious to see what the following weeks will bring.
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